No matter how “chill” of a person you might be, if you are getting close to your wedding date, I think I can confidently assume stress levels are rising rapidly. A wedding is exciting and will be one of the most incredible days of your life! Most likely you have dreamt of this day since you first learned what a wedding even is. And although all of this is thrilling, it comes with stress to be that perfect day and a little bit of pressure to ensure the day is flawless. But that pressure and stress is all rooted from within. (Besides the stress from your In-laws haha)
Having the seeds of those anxious thoughts and feelings starting within ourselves is a good thing though! It means we can take action to change our mindset and adjust our emotions to excitement and peace in remembering what this day symbolizes. I have composed a list for my brides-to-be to use when they are feeling a little frazzled!
1. First things first, and I hate to toot my own horn, but if we’re talking about something to help with wedding anxiety, I’ve got to say it: HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER! When I tell you it will help with your stress, I genuinely mean it will help. if not rid you completely of your stress. And do you want to know what a wildly tense bride makes? A bridezilla. *Cringe* Do you want to know what happens to a bridezilla? She takes out her nervousness on her close friends, family, and even her fiancé at times! And then everyone is annoyed at you and it completely ruins your wedding day and everyone is unhappy. You're not that person and we're not going to let that happen to you!
Okay, I admit I might be overdramatizing that just a little bit, but just trust me when I say hiring someone to help coordinate your big day makes a huge difference.
2. Next, I would highly recommend making sure your bridal party consists of people that will help destress you. I can sit here and list 1,000 ways to help your anxiety, but the close people around you know you on a much deeper level. They know when you need space, when to bring you your favorite treat, and when you might just need a cocktail. Make sure your bridesmaids are individuals who know you.
3. Here is a fun tip that you might not have thought of: but read into the personalities of your hair and makeup artists if you are hiring one. Getting ready is when nerves are out the roof! And having a hair and makeup staff who can blast music, make you feel confident, and ease those nerves, makes a great difference.
4. The week before the wedding is the toughest. All of the anxiety, stress, nervousness, and worries start setting in. Often, people take those outside sources of stress and take it out on their loved ones. Unfortunately, it is often the fiancé. My recommendation? Set aside time for planning and stress. Do not try to do this when you’re on a date or watching a movie. Plan when you say you’re going to plan, and when you aren’t doing that - make time for your special person. Make time for you and your partner to destress together and continue to invest in each other. Not only does this avoid potential arguments or tension in the relationship, but it will ease the worries of planning because you will constantly be reminded of why you are putting yourself through this!
5. The wedding is just around the corner, and those last-minute nerves are starting to hit you like a wave. All of the planning is done and you still feel anxious. Maybe you can't get enough sleep which is just playing into it and making you more anxious and on edge, you’re worried everything won’t go as planned, and you just simply cannot wait a second more to get married. What do you do? Distract. Distract. Distract. If everything is done, distract. Did I already say that? Spend your time enjoying the presence of your people. You know, the ones I talked about before? Spend time with your fiancé, your bridesmaids, your family, and your new family to be! I promise we love you, in-laws, even though I made a joke about you earlier <3.
6. THE DAY OF THE WEDDING! You are waking up (if you even slept at all) and you are EXCITED, to say the least. Like a kid on Christmas morning - but 5,000x that! In my experience, most weddings are in the afternoon/evening with a reception following. This leaves the up until late morning for the bride to sit in her excitement. And unfortunately, the excitement is easily confused with or turns into nervousness, worries, pressure, tension, stress, and anxiety. This is okay! This is normal.
So first, if it’s of interest to you, I would recommend starting the morning with moving around and getting your jitters out. Try going for a walk, jog, or getting a little exercise in. If that doesn’t sound appealing, try attending yoga or watching a yoga class on YouTube with your bridesmaids and family.
Next, remember what this day is about. Take a deep breath, and think about your fiancé. Think about your life together and the opportunities that are going to unravel. Think about starting a life and a family together, and think about your love. That is what today is about. Celebrating love!
After you do something to get those squirms out, and maybe while you’re thinking about the day and what it resembles, take a bath, do a face mask, just something for self-care. Something to relax you.
Although it might be the most difficult day to do this, try meditating! Again, remember why you are doing what you are doing. Remember how excited you’ve been for this day. And I can’t stress it enough, embrace the love you feel for your bride/groom. Take another deep breath.
7. Try affirmations! Here are three that I thought of:
I am choosing to release my excess stress and anxiety and I am at peace knowing today my dreamy fantasy is coming to life. My wedding is going to be epic!
My marriage is perfectly connected. Nothing can separate us and we are together till the end of time.
I have found my person who loves and accepts me as I am. Today I am celebrating the love between us and our new chapter in life.
Now, that group of your people I was talking about before? Their most important job comes into play right now. After you have gotten your jitters out, taken time for yourself, and have released your unneeded worries, your hype squad comes in.
8. Try taking a few shots (but save the caffeine for later - you’ll just get more anxious!), and let loose. Dance, sing, run around the house, embrace the excitement! Talk about your dreams that you get to live with your fiancé, enjoy the time you have with your bridesmaids and family. To simply put it - HAVE FUN! Today, this day, your wedding day, is unique, and it is special. Things might go wrong, someone might forget to put up a decoration, or you may run out of cups, but relax, enjoy the day, and remember why you are celebrating! Never stop feeling that love. The love from your family, the love from your fiancé, and the love that you hold for everybody around you.
Lastly, whenever you need to, revert back to your affirmations. Whether they are the ones listed from above, or if they are ones that you made for yourself. Say those out loud, take deep breaths, and think of your now husband/wife!
B R E A T H E!