I once read that a groom-to-be is like the 12th man on the Basketball team. Most of the time you are sitting on the bench, warming it up you know? But as soon as the coach (your bride-to-be) puts you in you have got to be ready! And honestly, it's absolutely true.
You may think that after you bought the ring and popped the question, the hard part for is over. Butttt, you’ve probably got to rethink that one. Yes, your bride probably already has a board on Pinterest that has pretty much planned out her whole wedding. More than likely, she has a good idea of what she wants, and she'll do most of the work to make that happen. And although this may mean you’ll be on the bench until wedding day, it is a stressful time for your partner to make that vision come to life. Thus, the reason bridezillas are created and bride-breakdowns occur. But did you know that if you play your cards right, you can actually avoid seeing your beautiful bride in that light?
Ultimately, to make your life easier, you are going to have to practice patience and understanding for the duration of this basketball game we call wedding planning. Understand that she will be stressed. No matter what. Understand that she will likely take it out on you at times. And be patient with that. Be there for her. Even if the intentions are slightly selfish (she doesn't need to know this).
Here are some ways that you can do this while taking care of your fiancé, avoiding too many bride breakdowns, and taking care of yourself.
This first one is more for you than the bride, but for weeks before the wedding, drink lots of water!! It sounds silly, but it will help your skin, and avoid any breakouts or overly oily/dry skin for the big day. After all, it is your day too!
While we’re on the subject of self-care, remember to clip your nails (toenails too!) and get rid of that unibrow just before ceremony day! (Consider cleaning up those brows while you’re at it too)
The best way to take care of a woman in planning is to ensure she does not get too overwhelmed. This means stepping in and offering help when you can, this means not putting pressure on her if she is spending too much time planning, and this means doing whatever you can. Look for opportunities to help and go out of your way to do so.
It is quite likely that the bride will complain and vent to you about her friends, sister, mom, brother, or whoever it may be. During planning, the best way to handle this is NOT to add frustration. Don’t add fuel to the fire by also complaining about them, but also don’t gaslight those frustrations she is feeling. I would recommend validating her bitterness, but then doing what you need to do to deescalate the situation. Calm her down and let her know it’ll be okay. You know her best, and you know how to do that!
If she doesn’t want you involved (or you are against getting involved), calm her down by surprising her with alone time with you. Help her to remember that this is a celebration of the love between you two. Since girls think of this day since they could even form a thought, there is that pressure within them to make it perfect. And sometimes, when you’re all caught up in the stresses of planning, they forget for a short reason the cause for them doing this. Surprise her with a massage or facial, take her out on a date, or leave her a love note before you leave for the morning.
My last tip for the groom will be for the morning of the wedding. Plan to have a company deliver her flowers and a card for the morning of your celebration. This will lessen her wedding day anxiety and make more of a difference than you know.
To my grooms: this is your day too and I think sometimes you don’t get enough credit for it. Hang in there! Remember to embrace the love as often as you can and to take care of this woman that you get to love and be loved by forever.
More tips for Grooms?! Share them with me!